The Guardian and Trainie

The Guardian and Trainie
Nick and Babe

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Belonging

My space in Point Arena
I just had this huge feeling of missing.  What am I missing?  I am missing people.  Not just anybody but real people.  Open people, people willing to go to the depths with you.  People who are not afraid to be anyone they want or need to be.  I do not consider myself judgemental but I do get chemistry from people.  Some people you click with and others you just pass right on by.  How long do we have on this planet and how much time do you waste?  I think I just know in my heart when it is right.  I like to go with that. We have to don't we?
I tend to be very isolated.  Not always by choice but having a hearing impairment does limit the interactions I am willing to put myself into.  It is a really strange feeling to be in a room full of people who are talking to one another and not be able to understand anything that is being said.  No matter how close I get to the group or even within the circle of people I still cannot follow the conversation.  It is a lot like an out of body experience.  I am an observer not a participant.  So I find myself alone a lot because it is what I am most comfortable with.  But hey I am a living being and we beings need contact, communication, flesh.  Today I am missing my people. 
When I moved to Point Arena I was completely flabbergasted.  I remember telling my mother that I had finally found my people.  I had been looking a long time for them.  Real people.  People just being themselves.  No one really special yet spectacular just the same.  People living life.  Yet so much more in touch with something deeper.  Not the I want to be like, act like, have more, more, more attitude.  Accepting, free, fun.  Oh yeah we all have our issues but to be in a community of folks and really be a part of that community is so exhilarating.  I do believe that I would like for my base to be back in Point Arena.  That is extremely important to me.  One can find small clusters of people all over the world who are open and real I am sure and I am sure there are other places in the world like Point Arena.  I do not have first hand experience with any other places.  I am not closed to what the future may bring.  I just know that Point Arena better yet the Mendocino Coast is a special place and my heart has been touched deeply.      

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