The Guardian and Trainie

The Guardian and Trainie
Nick and Babe

Friday, January 29, 2010


This morning I woke up to the sun!!  Yeah, I love the rain but sun is good too.  Besides I need to get my porch covered.  I would have gotten this posted this morning but what with school and all it just didn't get done.  I'll be back in the morning.  Friday morning that is.  Love Me.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Up and at them. The early bird catches the worm.

 Culvert blocked up and over flowing above the upper pond.
The early bird definitely catches the worm.  When I got up yesterday morning the Robins were out in full force.  They were out getting the worms. 
I am up early this morning.  I have lots of things to do.  What with school and all of the other things I need to get done.  I am one busy gal.  Saturday Al and I put up the new green house panels over the front door area.  We had to get that covered first because of the rain pelting the house.  The rain was coming through the door.  Now we discover that the second half of the veranda that blew over the house was put up because the rain and wind have no mercy.  The cover over the front door really does nothing other than keep the rain out of the house.  The entire porch is soaking wet and extremely slippery.  We know we have to finish the covering over the veranda that is right next to the house and now we are also aware that we have to reconstruct the second veranda as well.  Otherwise we will never be able to keep the rain out.  The decks will be constantly wet and slippery.  So anyway onwards and upwards.  I tell you it is never a dull moment here.  There is always something happening.  On Sunday we went to a fiddle contest and let me tell you the music was hot.  There are so many good musicians out there and they don't have cd's.  I would love to invite them to my house for dinner and have them break out their instruments.  I would be in seventh heaven.  It was interesting to observe the folks who were attending the competition.  Women were knitting and sewing it was so cool.  You could just sit around and enjoy the music and get something else done.  I could get into that.  Maybe next year.  We had to get home and dig out the ditches some because the rain had washed more silt down and they weren't draining.  It rained all night last night so we are glad to have gotten that job done, again!  Well folks I have to part here.  See you all tomorrow.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Time to replace the roof

Today is the day.  The veranda roof has got to be replaced so that when it rains the front door doesn't leak.  I know the door shouldn't leak but this double wide mobile home has been neglected for a long time and has a lot of issues.  We are taking care of them one at a time and each problem has a place on the list of many things that need to be done.  The weather has just pushed some of them up on the list of priorities.  This is going to be a short blog today.  I have a lot of work to do and I may check back later this afternoon.  See you all later.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Another day on the planet

Well what shall we talk about today?  The cat I have who is 20 years old.  I haven't given her the time of day here and I think it is about time I do.  This cat of mine our family has had since we found her and her mother with 4 other kittens in our black berry bushes in 1990.  She was a cute kitten and we decided to keep her.  We found homes for all of the other kittens and the mother.  This little kitten we named Kali Ann after a doll I was making at the time.  Kali as we have always called her was raised with a ferral mother, so Kali's defense mechanisms are a bit on the wild side to say the least.  I think that this is why she has lived so long.  This is my guess.  I did have a vet that thought that this wildness could be related to why she has lived so long.  Who knows for sure.  The fact is that she is still alive and doing quite well I might add to my chagrin.  Kali started out belonging to my middle daughter.  Kali was her cat but when my daughter moved away from home I inherited the cat.  I was fine with the arrangement because I would never want to give away any of our animals.  So with me Kali has stayed.  Now I personally have never liked the cat because she has always been too rough.  No matter what you do to reprimand her she still will use her claws too much and she used to attack when petted.  I hated her.  She hurt me and I did not like it!!!  She would draw blood regularly.  I eventually learned how to deal with her grabbing me and that was to just not pull away.  Well you are still getting her claws dug into your skin, hurting and drawing blood.  I just got to a point where I stopped petting her.  Now I will add here that she has moved everywhere with me and I have had other cats and she is the only one who has stuck around.  I have to give her something there.  She also grew up with our family dog, Alaska.  They were a formidable team.  They protected the property together where ever we lived.  I remember once that Kali was in a stand off with a stray cat and she was holding her own but little did she realize that Alaska was standing behind her but the cat she was in a stand off with knew.  The stray was not going to make a move to attack Kali with a big dog backing her up.  The stray ran off and Kali was proud.  She acted like she took care of things all by her self.  I know that Alaska had a paw in it all but who's going to tell Kali.  It was like that between them.  The dog respected the cat and visa versa.  Ali lived for 12 years and I had to put her down.  Kali on the other hand continued to guard the perimeter of our yards for many years.  She finally did get to the point where she was just not as fast as she used to be and got bit one time and that was the end of her being the guardian cat.  It was now her time to pass over the responsibility to one of the other pets.  Over the years Kali did have to share the family with other pets, both cats and dogs.  She never bonded with any of them like she did with Alaska or Ali as we called her.  Kali has always been the "Queen".  "She who must be obeyed".  She never got cozy with any one of the other animals we had.  It was always she who must be obeyed!!!  However I did have the pleasant experience of observing her teach a couple of the kittens that my youngest daughter adopted.  I was at the front of the house where there are big windows where one could watch the goings on in the yard with out being seen.  I heard an unusual cat cry or sound.  One that I do not remember hearing before.  I looked outside and saw Kali sitting just outside our front door with a live mouse trapped beneath her paws and she was meowing in this deep guttural sound.   I had never heard her do this before and I was wondering what she was doing when I noticed the two kittens come running up to her.  She had been calling them.  For right when they arrived she released the mouse and let them play with it.  She was doing what comes naturally, teaching the kittens about mousing.  Kali was turning over the responsibility of catching the mice to the youngsters.   For I do believe that she never caught another mouse, lizard or snake after that.  She had earned her keep all the past years and it was now somebody else's turn.  Kali is a hearty cat not too big as cats go she only weighs 9 lbs but she has pushed her weight around.  When Ali was alive I remember that Kali would go to rub up against Ali and Ali would stand stiff and still as a board for there were many times that Kali would box Alaska for no good apparent reason.   Ali knew better than confront Kali.  She was like an accident waiting to happen and no one wanted to be involved not even the dog.  Kali moved everywhere with us.  She has lived in Folsom, California where she was born, in Grass Valley where she would walk down to the river with us.  She lived in Point Arena on coast of Mendocino.  She has lived in the "Million Dollar Valley" in Geyserville and she currently lives in Cloverdale on a 300 acre ranch.  She has lived a full life and I frequently wonder when her life will end.  I have never had a cat live so long.  She still acts like a kitten now and then.  It's kind of weird.  She really hasn't shown many signs of aging.  She doesn't really see quite as well but she moves around just fine.   She used to have more black fur and now she has a lot of gray in her fur.  She doesn't retract her claws as well and she has this horrible habit of barfing.  I have had her to the vet and he says she is doing unusually well for a cat her age and he even asked me if I really knew how old she was!  As if!!!   For he couldn't believe she was that old.  She doesn't get shots anymore because she doesn't really go anywhere.  She is content to stay around the immediate perimeter of the house or just stay inside.  Right now she is planted right in front of the fire place.  In the winter that is where she likes to be.  In the summer she prefers to be outside baking in the heat.  Well so much for now.  I have other things to tend to.  See you all tomorrow.  Peace

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Good Morning People!!!

Upper Pond 
Well it is still raining.  We had a little bit of thunder and lightning last night with some wind but nothing of the magnitude on Tuesday night.  Having my front roof lifted and blown off, now the front door is leaking a bit but I think that we are going to recover the veranda this weekend.
I awoke this morning with a new spurt of energy.  I have started my fresh home made tomato soup, got my chocolate peppermint mocha, stoked the fire, did my stretches/exercises and I am getting my blog done so that I can focus on my school work.  I am committing myself to this regimen each and every week day with a break on the week ends only.  I have so much I want to accomplish for myself and I do not want to fail.  Have you ever had a goal and you know it is important to you but you just can't seem to make it happen?  Well I have at least one of those and I struggle with it everyday!!!  I want to loose weight, get in shape, feel better, look better, wear anything I want!!!!  I have always wanted these things for myself and I just can't seem to make it happen.  I am not sure exactly what the problem is but I am going for the gusto again and hope that this time I accomplish what it is I am seeking.  Help!!!!   I realize that what I eat is a big part of my failure and sometimes my carbohydrate cravings seem so unreasonable, out of control actually.  They seem to be the one thing that satisfies me.  I do not get the relief from hunger from anything else like I do with the carbs.  Humph,  What is up with that?  Habit?  Well I am back on my "SparkPeople" site charting what I eat and taking note of the calories and being sure to eat a balanced diet.  Fruit, vegetables, grains, dairy you know the pyramid thing.  I know I can't forget the exercise either.  I know how easy it is to just sit around and be relaxed, (lazy?) eat and get fatter.  I am not happy that way.  I love to relax.  I love to eat good food but I do not like the weight gain.  That is no fun when you go to get dressed and your clothes are tight and you definitely do not want to buy bigger clothes!!!   Especially when you have a closet full of nice clothes and you want to get smaller not bigger.  Well onward and upward.  Try, try again I shall.  My boyfriend is an inspiration to me.  He decided to loose the weight and get in shape and he did it.  I am going to do it too and he helps me.  It is so much easier when he is around.  We both eat really clean and generally do not over eat.  So wish me luck and lots of commitment.  See you all tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Day After

Boy I must say the power of the wind is incredible.  In this photo the front veranda roof is sitting on top of the back veranda roof.  What you do not see in this picture is that all of the supports went with it.  There were 4x4s on the house roof and under these metal panels are all of the 2x4's and other supports.  I found a pier block at my back fence.  It was at least 300ft away from where it started and it had to go over the house to get there.  Could there have been a funnel cloud or something?  What would pick up a roof, supports and pier block toss them over two roofs and set them down again without a lot of noise?  I have heard some thunder in my day and I know that the rolling I heard was thunder, so where was the sound of all of that mass of roof and supports being torn from its place at the front of the house. Could I have missed that?  Is it possible?  I am baffled to say the least.
Once I got outside yesterday to access the situation I was then faced with the reality of cleaning it all up.  Now I can handle most of the debris.  I am a pretty strong gal but I tried to pull the veranda roof off of the house roof and it was not budging.  I called my boyfriend, who was working about an hour away and he said he would come up as soon as he was done on the job site.  Great!!!Help would be on it's way. 
I rent the house where I am living but the landlord is not to responsive in any kind of a timely manner.  He always has to hem and haw about things.  It can be very aggravating.  Especially when you need to get things done right away, which is where I was yesterday.  I didn't mention that the veranda roof stopped on top of the house roof because it got hooked up on the chimney.  When it got hooked up it knocked off the top cover and stack of the chimney.  The only thing stopping the rain from falling into the chimney part, that was left, was the veranda roof that was laying over the top of it.  Now you have to understand, the only heat I have is a wood burning stove.  If I cannot have a fire it will get cold quickly.  Now the house roof is metal and the veranda roof is also metal so there really wasn't any danger of starting a fire however there was a new storm coming in and having all that debris on top of the roof was just another mess waiting to happen. 
My landlord lives in San Francisco and I really didn't think that he would run up here to clean up anything and besides he has rheumatoid arthritis.  It is very difficult for him to do physical work and my boyfriend was more than willing to come up and take care of removing the roof and replacing the chimney stack and top.  Yeah!!!! I would stay warm.  Staying dry has not been a problem.  The house is intact.  I must say though that not having the front veranda covering makes me feel a bit exposed.  I will be looking forward to getting it fixed.  Now that the rain is pummelling the front of the house I have a breaker that is tripped and will not flip back on.  This means no over head lights in any of the bedrooms, no lights in the second bathroom, no electricity to my clock and the lamp in my bedroom either and no over head light in my dining room or to the any of the plugs in the living room. I also do not have electricity to the front porch light either.   I do however have electricity to the master bath, the kitchen and the laundry room.  Go figure.  The electricity set up in this house is just plain weird.  It makes no sense.  All of the afore mentioned non existent electricity is on one breaker and it is a 15 amp breaker no less.  The questionable part is why is the breaker tripping and if it is from the rain pumelling the front of the house and the only electrical item out there is the porch light then the rain is getting into the fixture and that is just not safe!  How long will I be without electricity is the question I have now.  At least I do have enough to get along.  Oh the joys of life.  Never a dull moment.  Many years ago I ran a day care and took care of 6-8 children.  One of the mothers told me one time that I lived a very exciting life and there was never a dull moment.  One could live vicariously through me.  Well I am sure that many of us have full and exciting lives it just depends on how we look at things.  I personally like to look at life as a gigantic adventure.  Well isn't it the journey not the destination?  I figure that if we are safe then it's all fun and excitement. 
I sit here at my window looking to the east and I know the sun is coming up for I can see outside now.  I see the rain now where as I just heard it a little while ago.  Like I said yesterday the waterways are over flowing one into the other.  Everything is soaked.  I wonder about the dogs, the sheep and where do the birds go.  Are they all huddled up in the trees?  They must be.  I know that the sheep cram themselves in to what ever little space they can in the barn but where the dogs go I do not know.  The barn?  Probably but I would think the best place would be in the lean to garages for I know they are dry and they were recently cleaned out.  That is what I would do but I am not the dogs.  Nick was up here yesterday trying to find a place around the house to get out of the rain but with the roof blown off there really wasn't any place to go and he prefers the front of the house the back is too cluttered and leaky.  This will all change when the rain stops.  The roof will be put back, the supports will be anchored and seams caulked.  We will be prepping for the next big storm so that there will not be a repeat of what just happened. 
Oh I just caught a glimpse of a little bird in the oak tree outside the window.  I do know that I have a lot of birds that hang out in the wood pile and that is protected from the weather. Well folks I've got school work to do so I'll catch you all later. 

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Rain, Thunder, lightning? Anythings else folks?

This photo was from yesterday's storm. Looking to the southwest at what we call the lower pond. It is lower than the pond that spills into it but it really is the middle pond.  We have four ponds on the property.  I will check them all out today.
I am up early this morning!  I would normally be up early but this morning the storm just wouldn't let it go.  Then again maybe that's exactly what it did, let go!!!  I actually slept pretty good in my cozy bed with my down comforter keeping me warm.  Every now and then I was jarred awake by the thunder literally rolling through.  At one point I was hearing and feeling what seemed like a gigantic bowling ball roll through the end of my house.  The ground, the house, my bed and me moved!!!!  Now you need to understand that right in range of my bedroom is a huge eucalyptus tree.  Just before I started to write this morning I checked my emails.  One of the emails I get regularly is from "The Universe".  It just happened to mention talking to sentient beings, humans, animals or even trees!  I immediately spoke to the eucalyptus tree.  Boy am I glad that she is still standing.  I am wondering how many trees are down on the ranch.  I am also wondering if any are down on the road out of here.  The sheep guy will be coming in this morning so he will run into it first.  If so he will get someone to cut through it.  I certainly can go check things out when the sun comes up.  I have a chain saw and can use it.  It is a bit small but at least it will cut.  It is still raining pretty hard.  I don't hear any sheep and I suspect that they are all huddled up in the barn.  I don't even know if they can all fit but I am sure they would try.  Better to be huddled up together than off somewhere on their own.
This morning when I got up I went to check if Nick was on the front porch.  He was sleeping there last night and does that some times, then leaves when he needs to work.  He was not there when I checked and I don't blame him.  When  the storm started getting really bad I am sure he headed for some other spot on the property.
It is so dark outside.  I am sitting in front of my east facing window and can't see anything outside yet.  There is lots to hear though.  It sounds wet and windy!!  We have gotten so much water here in the last couple of days that all of the ponds are full to maximum capability and all the water ways are running at full force.  The culverts are overflowing.  Everything is being pushed to overload and beyond.
Mmmmmm, nothing a good hot cup of coffee won't help.  As long as the roof on the house stays put I will be fine.  When things settle down I will have to go access the situation.  Replacement panels will be in order and the veranda roof is old who knows I might have to take advantage of the situation and replace some of the cross members and supports.  Oh well, life that's how it rolls.  I am going to get back to studying.  I'll catch you up on the details later.  Until then over and out.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Rain, rain, rain

We are getting thoroughly sogged out here.  The ponds are beyond full!  The culverts are at capacity and over flowing.  Water is a good thing though.  Just wish we could store more of it for the summer months.  We do have two empty tanks down by the spring but no way as of yet to get the water in.  Oh well soon I hope. 
Last night the rain started, well actually it started yesterday after me and Al finished blocking the dam at the spring.  We were trying to get more water into the lower pond.  I guess mother nature will cover that end of things.  I love it when it rains.  I enjoy being inside staying toasty warm by the fire and listening to the rain come and go.  When the rain subsides I can hear the water from the upper pond crashing down over the spill way, I just love that sound.  Speaking of sounds, I have a veranda around 3/4 of my house and it has the metal  corrugated panels for the roof, I love the sound of the rain hitting those panels. 
I read an email from the city of Healdsburg and they said we would have rain through Thursday.  Big storm fronts moving through. 
I feel sorry for the sheep.  The barn will keep them dry or at least most of them but it isn't much for keeping them out of the mud.  The inside of the barn gets so rank.  Whoever decided to build the barn built it right beside a creek.  Not too smart.  Not only is it next to a creek but it is in a low spot.  With 300 acres you would think they would choose a spot on higher ground.  It is amazing how animals deal with nature.  Most of these sheep will be in the barn and some will stay outside and not necessarily under cover of anything.  They will just stand there in the rain.  Maybe that's a good thing for what if lightening struck?  Being under a tree might not be the best idea. 
I am hoping I won't have to go out in the rain but I do want to drive out the road, check all the culverts and see how full the upper pond has gotten.  Catch you all later.   

Saturday, January 16, 2010

It's an opps day

  My sweety came up yesterday afternoon!  I was so excited!  I just love it when he comes to the ranch.  We usually work too much but it is all good.  The dogs were all here and it always makes Al nervous because he thinks that they will just hang out around the house and I will have ruined them from doing the work they are supposed to do.  NOT!!  Yes they do hang out for a while but they always leave when there is work to be done.  I had a fire going when he got here and it was wwwaaaaayyyyyy toooo hooottt!  We had to open all the doors and windows.  It must have warmed up outside because I have been having a fire everyday and it was not that hot where you had to open the doors.  Then I started to make pizza so the oven had to be on and it just got hotter in the house.  Not to mention I had been cooking earlier in the day.  Al made a request for carrot cake and I just happen to have a really great recipe.  We had homemade pizza for dinner, ate carrot cake for desert and watched movies. We have netflix so we had recieved three movis to watch this weekend.  Last night we watched "Pitch Black" that was better than I remembered it and we finished it around 8 so we decided to watch a second movie " I am Sam".  We hit both ends of the spectrum.  Scifi suspense and then drama super mellow.  To bed by 10:30 and woke up this AM and all was good. This morning Al got up and started the coffee he always does that when he is here.  Then we went for our morning walk.  Today it was to the orange trees for some oranges to juice.  Al has been feeling a bit under the weather.  He has been exposed to someone else who has been sick and just won't stay away from the house where he is living in Half Moon Bay.  He decided that since we have orange trees here on the property that it would be a great way to get some extra vitamin C.  We picked a backpack full and came home, juiced them.  We got about a half gallon and just enough left over for breakfast.  The oranges are a little on the sour side so we juiced half an apple and some left over carrots from our garden that I had used making the carrot cake.  Yum, the juice was so good!  I had also made us some oatmeal with apples and cinnamon that was yummy too.
After breakfast we headed out to do some road work before the heavy rains hit us again.  Al has been keeping our ditches clear so that the roads don't get all rutted but inevitably the water doesn't flow where we want it to.  For the most part the ditches work great but on a ranch there is always work to be done.  Al worked on the main road and the road down to the barn for about 4 hours.  He was filling in pot holes on the road down by the barn and ditching on the main road.  Plus he had to keep cleaning as he went because as he ditched the road dirt would inevitably end up where you drive and that would have to be cleaned off otherwise there would be a big muddy mess.  I busied myself with trenching places where the water runs off into culverts.  Some of the ditches and run off spots haven't been worked on for years so there is a lot of dirt build up and grass growing where it shouldn't be.  Well we are more prepared than we were yesterday and every little bit helps. 
I came in from working a little bit earlier than Al so I could make our lunch.  On my way in I ran into Babe one of the pups who is now 14 months old and bigger than her mom and just a couple of inches shorter than the big male on the property.  Just how big are these dogs, you might ask and I will tell you they are smaller than my daughter's dogs.  Well how big are they?  Let's see Amber's dogs are both males and of the English Mastiff persuasion.  We are talking big dogs.  The dogs on the here where I live are a mix of Turkish Akbash and Great Pyrenees.  The smallest of the four dogs is approximately 90-100lbs. the largest dog is probably 100-120lbs.  To make a long story short I would say that Babe is about 100lbs. Pretty close anyway and tall.  She is a big lover dog just like Nick the male.  They both love to be brushed, touched and just plain close to humans.  They are not comfortable with just anyone but if introduced they would love to sit on your lap.  Babe was hanging out up by my house so I proceeded to pet her and check for ticks.  This poor girl was loaded with them.  I stopped counting after 15 ticks.  I usually do what ever I can to supplement caring for the dogs.  Their owner is an old school farmer.  His attitude seems to be if the animals live than fine, if they die than so be it.  Hense the dogs do not get the care they need.  At least that is my opinion.  The sheep don't either.  But what can I do?  I just live here.  If I had the money I would just buy the tick medicine and be done with it but I can't afford to treat four dogs regularly.  It can get pretty expensive.  These are the least of their problems right now because they have now gotten ear mites.  Who knows from where.  I have been researching natural remedies because they are usually the cheapest route and hey I could do something instead of just watching them suffer.  Hence why I was picking ticks off of Babe.  She loves the attention and I love having her around.  Nick let's me groom him also and Nina the mother of the two young females she too will let me check her although she is a little skitish.  The other pup whom I have named Madrigal or Maddy for short she is almost completely untouchable.  I was my favorite from the start.  She was the smallest and she still is.  She suffers because of her unwillingness to be touched.  The owner of the dogs never socialized his pups because he believes that if you do socialize them they wouldn't be good gaurd dogs for the sheep.  I disagree.  I live here on the ranch and I am the only one who observes them on a regular basis.  These dogs are like any other dog that has been bred for a specific job.  It is in their blood, their genes.  They will do their job no matter what, unless you tie them up or cage them.  They work at night.  During the day they rest, roam and just plain laze about.  They will visit with me because I live here and I am an animal person.  I have never been mean to any animal and I will not start now.  The owner wants me to shoo the dogs away and I just can't do that.  I love animals and would have a dog if I could.  I have a cat. A twenty year old cat no less.  I have owned her since she was a tiny kitten.  Rescued her and her mother with four other kittens.  I have had dogs in the past but right now I just couldn't afford to have one.  Well I have been writing for quite a while I think I had better call it quits for right now and I will see you all tomorrow.  Peace

Friday, January 15, 2010

And Life moves along at a rapid pace

Hello folks.  My appologies for lagging so far behind in my responsibility to writing.  So many things have transpired since I last blogged.  Ahah I just read my own blog and I see it has been a few weeks since I was last here.  The holidays were quiet and pleasant for me.  Visiting with my daughters and their partners is always a pleasant experience for me.  I love them all dearly and they are all so different and fun to be with.  I was going to spend Christmas Eve alone.  I was not excited about that but Al was down in Half Moon Bay and didn't want anything to do with Christmas.  Apparently his family is really into the buy, buy, buy thing and he is disgusted with that approach to Christmas.  I don't blame him really I never have liked that either.  Many years ago I decided that I was going to make sure that I expressed my displeasure with the whole get into debt at Christmas thing.  I wanted the Holidays for being with my loved ones and cherish the fact that we are together.  The gift thing would no longer be the priority.  Besides I was also not into celebrating something I did not believe in.  I have attempted to take the old world approach and celebrate the Winter Solstice.  You know that the tree we call a Christmas tree is really representative of the coming of spring.  The Christmas Lights are representative of the longer days of light to come.  The gift giving started with a priest many, many hundreds of years ago when he decided to give gifts to children of the poor.  They needed the gifts!!!  Why has our society gotten so caught up in the giving of gifts and often times things no one needs or wants for that matter. Have we forgotten to consider those less fortunate than ourselves.  Oh well I think that is an age old question.  One we each have to look at for ourselves for only we can decide what is best, right or comfortable for ourselves.  I personally try not to let myself get caught up in the hype and just do what I want to do. Love my family.  To me that is number one.  Having said that onwards to the "New Year'. 
Yeah, another year and many more experiences to behold!!!! I am excited!!!!!!  I love life.   A long time ago I realized that one must take a look at oneself and ask, "Do I like me?"  For if you do not like yourself then change!!!!!!  For you really cannot share the pleasant things in life if you're not liking yourself.  Could you live on a desert island and be happy with the realization that you are alive and a creative person.  You can make life happen!  I did this when I was in my teens because I found myself alone a lot!!!   I wanted to be happy and I just didn't feel that way.  What was the problem?  Well I didn't know but the one thing I did know was that I had me and I was going to make me the best person I could to hang out with, for me and I were going to be hanging out together for a hell of a long time, everyday no less!!! wasn't fully aware then but eventually I began to realize just how valuable of an individual I was becoming.  I always told my daughters that in the old days and still in many places of the world when a girl gets married they go with a dowry.  I told my girls that they should think of themselves as that dowry.  Not that they would necessarily be getting married but that they should value themselves and add to whomever it was that they were/are becoming.  What do you like about yourself?  Value that.  What do you like to do?  Add to that.  What kind of things can you do or are you good at?  Improve upon those things for you are your own dowry.  You are valuable!!!  Give of yourself and you have truly given something worth while.  Things as simple as a smile, your laughter even your tears are to be shared.  I love me.  I can hang out with me for a very long time and be totally happy.  Now don't get me wrong I too need companionship.  As you know if you have been reading my blog I have four dogs on the property and they are great companions.  They are always here and ready for some good strokes but there is nothing like a real live human being to talk to, touch, hold and to be held, touched and have conversations with.  Well and hell if there isn't anyone around hence the phone.  Reach out and touch someone.  Maybe you just touch someone through the internet.  What a great discovery that/this is huh?  I am amazed time and time again with the progress of life. 
When my great grandma was alive she had experienced coming across the prairie in a double buckboard covered wagon, (just imagine that) trains, automobiles, jets, radio, television, landing on the moon and computers all within her life time.  Imagine what a life!  Humph, wonder what we have in store for us?
Well for me right now I am back in school full time.  Wow I must say it was a little overwhelming at first.  I think I am getting into the grove.  I am taking a Medical Law and Ethics, very interesting, physiology, medical terminology,  microsoft word and a core strengthening class.   Send me lots of good vibes.  I am breathing and staying focused.  Talk to you tomorrow. Love you all.